Nearly Broken

"If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived."
- Jeffrey R. Holland


I found that quote the other night at work and it home hard. That's all I've done this summer, try harder, and then everything comes crashing down. Beginning at the first of the summer when the mother board inside my laptop fried, to July when I had the kidney stone blockage which turned into a kidney infection which turned into one heck of a bladder infection. Then my car decides to hate me and give me every problem known to mankind, and finally my phone broke beyond repair. So now I have to get a new laptop, new car, and a new phone. To add on to it, I don't qualify for financial aid, byui doesn't do the teach grant, and so it's going to take one massive miracle to get through college debt free. Right now, it really is impossible to get through it without student loans.

People tell me not to stress out about it, but tell me, how the heck does one not stress when everything pretty much just broke within a 2.5 month time frame?

It's exhausting pretending to act like everything is fine, like I'm not worried and stressed. I'm up most nights trying to figure how I'm financially going to afford everything. No matter how many different ways I've tried and even though I work 2 jobs. I can't afford it, not without a car loan and a student loan. And it scares me. But I keep pressing on, and going forward with faith. Its what I do when the going gets tough. Giving up and refusing to deal with it isn't an option.