Preparing for Goodbye.

I've always hated goodbyes, and I've always been horrible at them.
Especially when it comes to saying goodbye to my Loved ones.
 I've gotten away with not having any hard goodbyes since Andrew left.
But my luck has run out.

I have 7 school days left with my little guy.
I have 2 weeks and 6 days left with my puppy baby.

I'm okay with saying goodbye to my family. In fact, when you take out the little guy, and Axel, I'm extremely ready to go back to school and to move far away from my family. 

The little guy and Axel, got me through the first year of Andrew being gone. They filled that gaping hole I had in my heart. And in a few weeks, I'll be on my own. Without either of them. I'm hoping working and going to school will fill in at least a little bit of the void those two will leave.

The little guys Mom told me I needed to go back to school so I could find more kids like her son and help them. I told her and Janice that even though I know I'm doing the right thing, it's not going to make saying goodbye any easier. When you work with a child every school day, through the hard days, the sick days, the happy days, and the "I hate teacher Shannon" days, you begin to feel like that child's Mom. Luckily, the little guys Mom told me I am invited to come over to see them whenever I come home for a weekend. I am so grateful to know that this goodbye will never be permanent, that he is ALWAYS going to be a part of my life.

I have learned so much working with Janice in the special ed class. Here are just a few of them...
1. You have to learn to love and laugh. If you can't laugh, don't major in special ed. You'll lose your sanity.
2. certain children will gross you out a little bit, others will manage to still your heart and find ways to manipulate you. and others will drive you nuts all. the. time. (the little guy knows that tears get to me and soften me up, and he uses that against me. Smart little dude....)
3. Peppermint gum helps block the smell of nasty smelling diapers.
4. Being the only able-bodied aide in the room when a child had a grand mal seizure, lasting over 15 minutes was hard, but I did it! The worst part was having to stand there, watching him, and knowing I couldn't do anything to help him other than to make the area safe for him.
5. Having to explain to the little dude that he can only kiss Momma on the lips, not girls he has crushes on.
6. Wondering what parents are thinking when they say their child will be fine after falling in the cafeteria and hitting their head on a table and they had one dilated pupil and one normal. Mind boggling.
7. Getting to teach a child what it means when their Mom is pregnant. <--that was actually pretty fun.
8. Helping a child cope with the loss of a loved one.
9. Teaching a child how to communicate on a device, and getting to experience the pure joy when they tell you what it is they want, for the very first time.
10. Even though ignoring behaviors works, it is one of the most difficult things to do. Especially when you see that mischievous look in their eye...
11. The people that dictate what a child can, and can't do even though they haven't observed him for over a year, drive me nuts. That's to you Miss Speech Therapist Mentor Lady who is making the little guy REGRESS on his PECS device. The kid doesn't forget anything lady. And Yes I will go behind your back to teach him how to use a communication device.
12. The little dude loves to show up those that say "he's not ready for a device..." and I smile and say, "that's my boy!!!!!"
13. Just like at home, we have "survival mode" days at school. Be grateful parents you have to deal with 1 at home. having 13 out of control special needs kids  in one room is enough to drive you insane. We chug the caffeine on those days.
14. Typical kids will drive you nuts when you see them get away with something that would put your student in time out. 
15. There is never, ever, a boring day, or a dull moment in the world of special education. And that is awesome.